HOODED SCARF

 This is the HOODED SCARF pattern. A warning: it's not a pattern for what
Elizabeth Zimmermann calls blind followers, because you have to use your own
judgement as you go along, so instead of being a series of numbers, it's a
series of detailed instructions. I know you can handle it; it's really simple.

      First, the SCARF part. In whatever kind of yarn you want to use, with
whatever size needles you think are appropriate to this yarn, loosely cast on
as many stitches as you think will make a good width for a scarf, as long as it's
a multiple of four stitches, plus three extra. Work in MISTAKE RIB pattern
(below) until the scarf is as long as you like; then cast off loosely. If you discover
a few inches along that the scarf seems too wide or too narrow, just pull the
work off the needles, unravel it, and start again with a more appropriate number of
stitches. You *could* make a gauge swatch, but really, I wouldn't bother.
(Imagine hearing me, Mr. Swatch, say that!)

 MISTAKE RIB: Mult of 4 sts plus 3. *Knit 2, purl 2*; repeat between *s to
last stitch, knit 2, purl 1. Repeat this row ad nauseam for mistake rib stitch.

 Now that you have a beautiful, warm scarf, you might be tempted to stop
and use that as a gift. But don't; you're about to turn it into a thing of
wonderment. Set it aside for a bit.

GAUGE SWATCH for the HOOD: Sorry, but you have to make one of these now or
you'll really be sorry. (Or you could use the mistake-rib pattern, which would
mean--tah-dah!--that you don't have to do a gauge swatch, because the scarf
itself is your gauge swatch). Using the same yarn, knit up a gauge swatch in
any nice non-rolling stitch; moss stitch is a good choice, as is beaded rib.
Something which looks as nice on the wrong side as it does on the right side is
a good idea, so stranded colourwork is probably out. It doesn't matter what
your gauge is; I'm not going to tell you how many stitches you need to the inch,
though something that's pretty dense and therefore more windproof is desirable.
The important thing is that *you* know how many stitches to the inch you have.

 MATH for the HOOD: Yes, you have to do a tiny bit of math. It's easy, so
don't worry about it. First you'll need to take two measurements using a cloth
measuring tape (a ruler won't work). Place the end of the tape measure at the
base of your neck and measure the distance from this point to your hairline;
add an inch for drapiness and call this the Head Length. Write this number down or
you'll forget it. Ditto for the distance around the back of your head,
measuring from the outer corner of each eye; add two inches, one for each side, and
this is the Head Width.

     Now, multiply the Head Width by the number of *stitches* per inch and call
this number Neck Stitches, and multiply the Head Length by the number of *rows*
per inch and call it Head Rows. That's the end of the math. (No, wait; one
more thing. Is Head Rows evenly divisible by four? If not, add 1, 2 or 3
rows so that it is.)

MARKING the SCARF: Pick up the scarf and a darning needle threaded with a
contrasting yarn. Fold the scarf in half and mark the centre point along one of
the long edges--it doesn't matter which one or which side (this is a
*scarf*--it doesn't have a right side and a wrong side). Now measure from this marker
along the edge until you've measured half the Head Width, and mark this point.
Measure from the centre marker in the other direction for the other half of the Head
Width; mark this point as well.

HOOD: Yes, we're finally ready to work the hood. Starting at the rightmost
marker, pick up and knit along the edge of the scarf half of the Neck Stitches;
this will bring you to the centre marker. (If you have to fudge a bit, that's
okay; if you have to fudge a lot, it's better to undo the pick-up edge and pick
it up again until you get it even.) Then continue picking up the other half of
the Neck Stitches to the final marker.

     Working in your chosen pattern stitch, work back and forth, decreasing
one stitch on each edge of every right-side row with a two-stitch selvedge,
as follows; Knit 2, SSK, knit to last 4 stitches, K2tog, knit 2. (SSK is
slip-slip-knit, an elegant decrease worked as follows: slip one stitch
purlwise, slip another purlwise, insert the left-hand needle into these two
stitches and knit them.) Every wrong-side row is worked without decreases.
Continue working these decreases until the hood measures half of the Head
Length. I don't know how many stitches you'll have on your needle, but
you'll have some, and that's all that matters; the actual number is
irrelevant.

     Then continue working in your stitch pattern, but increasing inside of a
two-stitch selvedge on every right-side row, as follows: Knit 2, increase 1,
knit to last two stitches, increase 1, knit 2. You can use any increase you
like as long as it doesn't leave a hole; if you want to use a yarn-over, make sure
you twist each yarn-over on the purl side so as to close up the holes. Continue
working in this manner until the length of the hood from the pick-up row equals
the Head Length. Cast off fairly loosely.

     Now sew the diagonal seams in mattress stitch, take the ends in neatly,
and you're done. It's just gorgeous, isn't it? I think a really long scarf is a
necessity--mine is about eight feet long, not including the fringe--but you
might think differently. There are two ways to wear this hood. If you just hang
the scarf over your shoulders and fling the ends around to fall at the back,
then the hood will be fairly loose and drapey, which is nice, like Meryl Streep
in "The French Lieutenant's Woman". If you need some serious wind protection,
then do this: lay the scarf over your shoulders and pull the hood on, then
reachback and fold the scarf upwards (as if you were turning up a collar) to pull
the hood snug around your head, and then wrap the ends of the scarf around your
neck. This is very warm and cozy.

     You want to add a fringe, don't you? I think you should. A long scarf
without a fringe looks forlorn. Cut a whole bunch of lengths of yarn; a foot
and a half or two feet is a good length. The best way to do this is to wrap a lot
of yarn around a book lengthwise, and then cut along the bottom. To make the
fringe, poke a decent-sized crochet hook into the bottom edge of the scarf,
grab a folded-in-half length of yarn with the hook, and pull the fold through the
scarf for a few inches; then reach down through the loop with the hook, grab
the two strands of yarn, and pull them through the loop. Pull tight. Repeat all
along both ends of the scarf. Don't skimp.

     Some of this pattern may sound kind of daunting, mostly because it's so
damned wordy--mea culpa--but it's so simple and mindless, yet so attractive
in the end, that it's really a wonderful gift idea. If the gift is to yourself, so much the
better. Use nice yarn; mine is in space-dyed sky-blue alpaca and lambswool. (Oh, and
I used the yarn double for the scarf on biggish needles but single on smaller needles
for the hood; you might want to do this to reduce bulk around the head.) People will
moan in envy when they see how warm and stylish you are. They'll probably want you
to make one for them. Then you can tighten the screws; what do you want in
return--money, power, sexual favours? They're yours.

Robert Matthews

jimbob@itchy.mi.net

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